Being a Stay at Home Mom is Important too!
We live in a day and age that the respect for stay at home moms have gained some respect again! That being said it doesn’t mean the anxiety and depression among stay at home moms is not a real thing. Matter of fact I think it would be harder to find a mom who isn’t dealing with those issues let alone a stay at home mom.
It’s easy to get caught up with the judgements of the world. Being judged because people think your husband makes millions even though you are sacrificing your desires without regret. Venting to people about having a hard day and all they can say in return is ” it must be nice to be home” or ” be thankful your home with your children”. Those comments can make you feel subhuman. In all reality I truthful believe the most grateful people on this plant are stay at home moms and the poor.
When you learn to live by your morals, and learn to stand by your boundaries it can be quite isolating. I say this from pure experience.
Most days can be great! But those hard days can overcome you quickly leading you into a world of depression and resentment. And though there will be those hard days, hard days are not at all bad. In fact that is when true growth happens for not only our children but ourselves. Starting with the care of our minds tackling the impossible will become second nature again.
Pick a Mom Motto and Stand by it
As a mom, or stay at home mom specifically, we are bombarded by information. Everything from the foods you should or should not eat to what medications you and your family should take. Montessori parenting or letting the screen play all day! As stay at home moms we know what works the best for our family and when people aren’t pleased with our boundaries, especially loved one, it can me dramatic for our minds leading us into a depressive state.
This is when I finally decided to pick a quote or phase to live by to help me be the mother I need to be for my child to thrive.
When your Feeling Depressed just Stop
If your anything like me when the world or even my home is getting to much I find my self spending more time on my phone or looking for a quick fix (like unhealthy food). Before I knew it a day would be gone and I would be missing my girls even after spending a whole day with them!
In fact I decided to make the CHOICE to take those depressed impossible moments to pick up a book and read to my girls. That simple adjustment is what our family needed.
There where somedays that I could not get my toddler to sit down with me to read, she was to busy for me. I would let her play and her not wanting to be with me give myself the excuse to look at my phone. Stay at home mom depression is very real and can show up in many variations.
Until I decided one day I would just read the book to my self! She stopped what she was doing and just sat on my lap. Those are the moments that otherwise would have been on my phone. Everyday is still work but the little steps you take can help you get there.
USE that Nap time as a Stay at Home Mom!
Let’s be real there are days where nap time is all we are thinking about! Yet, what do you typically do during your kids nap time? I , for one, would scroll endlessly looking at nothing beneficial. I also would sit and think of all the endless tasks that needed to be done! Which led me down a rabbit hole ,that by the end of the day, I would not escape.
Instagram, Facebook, twitter are all a very toxic place to be for a vulernable mind, especially within the mom culture. We see tons of posts about “self care”, and buy and do for your self and drink your wine within the mom clicks online. And to some extent we do enjoy some of those things. Yet, dwelling in feeling sorry for your self moments does nothing to help.
This all was very true for me until I sat my phone down and wrote 12 new skills I wanted to learn. I wanted to teach my girls what I never learned. As each month approaches I sit down and look at what skill it is I want to learn within that month.
In the past I would try to learn and do it all. That is how I always ended up failing and falling into my depressive state. Until I took each moment by month, week , day , and nap time to really put my mind to something valuable as a skill.
When all else Fails
There also is a point in some mothers lives that do need medical help. You need to be the best for your babies and letting your self fall through the cracks is not the way to do it. Talk to loved ones, and your partner about going to see a professional.
You got this. Hard days are not bad…You are the only one qualified for this job. You got this.
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Some other great reads for those hard days:
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